A Loving Governess in Disguise (Preview)

Chapter One

Euterpe and Eloise, as well as their parents, spent more time telling others that they were not, in fact, twins than was usual.

Their father, the Earl of Essex, was a tall man, measuring six feet, and undeniably handsome with his brown hair and bright green eyes. His countess, a beautiful lady with long chestnut curls and pale blue eyes, had always expected them to produce lovely children, and they had indeed: Two little girls born two years apart, with their mother’s copper ringlets and their father’s eyes. They were the marvel of the ton, expected to make illustrious matches and live equally illustrious lives. 

Through it all, however, the two girls never saw each other as competition. For one, Euterpe thought, she was two years older than Eloise and so would likely find a match before her sister had even debuted. That had been expected of her, and it was what she had come to expect of herself. However, her first season came and went, and she remained unmarried. This was not for lack of suitors but simply because she had not met a gentleman she had deemed worthy, nor had her parents found one for her. They were forward thinkers and proud of that, but that did not mean they ignored tradition entirely. They had the jewel of London and would only accept the very best for her. 

“Euterpe,” Eloise asked one morning in the hallway, “may I ask you something?”

It was the final few months before Eloise’s debut, and she had asked what seemed like a thousand questions of late. Euterpe smiled, and they entered Eloise’s bedchambers, the perfectly pink room fit for a princess rather than a mere earl’s daughter. Euterpe sat on the bed with her sister as she wrung her hands and avoided looking at her.

“What is it, El?”

“Are you afraid?” she asked.

“Of what? Of spiders?”

“No, I already know that,” she said, laughing gently. “No, I mean are you afraid of not marrying for love?”

“Of course, though admittedly not as afraid as other ladies of our age. Mama and Papa have been clear that we need not do anything we do not want to do. They always have.”

“But what if what we wanted was impossible to attain? Surely they would not be welcoming of it?”

Euterpe studied her sister for a moment. She had always been a dreamer, so she could have been thinking about anything at all. Then again, Eloise had always been an intellectual type. 

“El, were you wanting to study? You know as well as I do that we cannot do that.”

“No! No, it isn’t that. It is love, Sister. What if I did not care for an advantageous match, and my only desire was to live out in a nice place like Cambridge with a kind man who worked for all he had rather than simply having wealth due to the circumstances of his birth?”

She thought for a moment. Their parents were understanding and undeniably supportive of their daughters, but marrying a commoner was not something that had ever occurred to any of them to discuss.

“I would not be too concerned, El. Such a thing shall never happen, for we do not spend time with those outside the ton. Even if it did, I suppose they would at least try to understand. They are not monsters. Now, I know your debut into society is a frightening prospect, but you will be fine. It is not as terrifying as you are led to believe, I can assure you.”

Eloise was silent, but she did nod slightly. Euterpe took her sister’s silence as her cue to leave, which she did. That evening, she saw Eloise walking into their father’s study. She considered following but then decided against it. She did not like the study, for it was a small and dark room as their father hardly ever opened his curtains, and he had the walls painted a dark green. He worked better by candlelight, he said, but that did not make the room seem any more welcoming.

Besides, she reasoned, if Eloise had anything to say she would tell Euterpe herself eventually. She always did.

Euterpe awoke most abruptly in the darkness of night. She was not often haunted by frightening dreams, but that night, she had been, though she could not, in truth, say what her dream was about. There were a lot of raised voices, loud banging, and then nothing. She lay in her bed for a moment, wondering if it would be best to go back to sleep, but something implored her not to. She pulled herself out of bed and decided to go to the library instead to read. As she passed Eloise’s room, however, something compelled her to knock on it. She tried to ignore the feeling; it was likely a sense of nervousness given her dream, but she could not put her feelings aside. She knocked gently three times, trying not to make too much noise in the echoing hallway. There was no response. She edged the door open gently only to see the bedcovers in a strange heap. Eloise had always been a heavy sleeper who tossed and turned. Smiling, Euterpe left for the library.

It had always been the two of them, the best of friends. Whether they were telling each other stories at bedtime or playing in the garden, they were always with one another. It was how it had always been, and for the first time in her life, Euterpe paused to wonder what life would be like if she lost her sister. She was being quite ridiculous and told herself not to be so silly; they would always have each other, even if they would soon be married off and be near one another far less often. 

And so, thinking nothing more of it, she went to the library for a while and then returned to her room to sleep.

The following morning, however, she was awoken by raised voices again. This time, they did not cease simply because she had opened her eyes. The voices were unmistakably that of her parents, and she turned even paler than usual at the sound of it. They never argued, not so loudly that their children might hear. 

She leapt out of bed, following the voices until she arrived at her father’s study. 

“How could this have happened?” her father asked. “How could she have done this?”

“We did this,” her mother replied. “George, you knew this was a risk; we both did and still did it regardless.”

“Ladies do not do this! Our daughters would not do this. Something has to be wrong. Someone must have taken her.”

“Don’t be ridiculous; you know this was her doing.”

Euterpe’s blood ran cold, and she felt herself turning faint. Taken? As she was decidedly there, that could only mean one thing. She burst through the door, still in her bedclothes.

“What is it?” she asked. “What has happened?”

“Go back to bed, dear,” her mother tried, but Euterpe shook her head firmly.

“Where is Eloise?”

Her father could not quite meet her eye. Her parents exchanged concerned glances before he reluctantly handed her a letter. Euterpe read it at once, recognizing the unmistakably beautiful calligraphy of her sister.

“Mama, Papa,

I apologize for my behaviour last night. It was unbecoming. However, as you know, I find myself in love, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it. No force on Earth ever could.

Charles is a good man, and regardless of what you both think, he will take care of me. He adores me, and I him. Therefore, if you will not allow the match, then I must take matters into my own hands. You have always called me intelligent and wise beyond my years, so I hope to prove you right in that respect. Please say goodbye to Euterpe for me, for I cannot bring myself to do so. 

With love always, Eloise.”

At first, the letter meant nothing. It was some sort of practical joke, a terrible one and not like Eloise to do, but that was the only thing that made any sense. Eloise was not in love, perhaps with life, but not with any man. Besides, she reasoned, she had seen her sister asleep a few hours before. 

Without saying a word, she ran to her sister’s room, her parents following behind. She threw the door open to see the familiar mess of bedcovers, except in the light of day, she saw the truth. It had simply been left in a mess, and Eloise hadn’t been there at all. 

Euterpe thought she might fall down then and there, never able to pull herself back to her feet. Her world had been ripped out from beneath her and she could no longer think, no longer hear anything but a horrid buzzing in her ears and a voice saying Eloise, Eloise, Eloise over and over. She turned sharply to her family.

“How much did you know about this?” she demanded.

“The question is,” her father sighed, “how much do you know?”

They did not say anything more, instead going to breakfast to continue their discussion. Euterpe was completely nauseous and couldn’t eat a thing, not even the bread and jam she so loved. The only thing she cared for was her sister and her whereabouts, and she knew that her parents were aware of far more than they were letting her believe.

“I do not know anything,” she said at last. “If I did, I would have told you myself as it would help find her. You both–you both seem so at ease about all of this.”

“We are anything but, I assure you,” her father explained. “However, it is as your mother said. We knew this might happen.”

“What might happen? And who is Charles?”

Her parents looked at one another incredulously.

“Do you … do you truly not know, dear?” her mother asked.

“No, and at this moment, I should very much like to.”

Again, they looked at one another as if trying to will the other to be the one to explain. Her mother seemed to win their wordless battle, so her father cleared his throat.

“It has been known to us for some time now that Eloise has taken a liking to a local barrister, though it astounds me that she has kept it from you. Your mother and I discouraged this courtship of theirs if you can call it that, then I rejected the man’s proposal due to his lack of title and fortune.”

“But I thought that didn’t matter to you. I thought you wanted us to marry for love.”

“Yes, if it were ever possible, but marrying a man such as that has never been in question. We had always assumed that the two of you would make better choices than that. Nevertheless, her disappearance will prove disastrous for our family. Not only has she eloped with a commoner, but that has happened before you were married.”

“I do not mind; truly, I do not. If she is happy–” 

“No, Euterpe. You both have always had such flights of fancy, but that must end now. I cannot have you do what your sister has done. It is all well and good to make promises that you will find love, but I cannot allow that privilege any longer. If we are to avoid scandal, possibly even ruin, then you must marry and quickly.”

The word did not settle in her mind. Instead, she thought of her sister and wondered why she had never told her about the courtship. After all, she had not debuted, which had made her believe that that was her concern, not that she was in love. Then again, perhaps this man and her affection for him had made her so afraid. 

At last, her father’s words made themselves known to her. They were going to marry her off. She did not know what to say, for she had always believed she would marry for love, not necessity. 

“That isn’t fair!” she cried. “I cannot be punished because of someone else’s actions.”

“This is not a punishment; it is simply what is necessary for our family. The first eligible bachelor that asks for your hand shall be your husband. Should you not like it, you can thank your sister.”

They then realized that the butler was standing in the hallway, staring at them. He had clearly come bearing news and was surprised to see the family speaking in such a manner.

“His Grace, the Duke of Somerset, is here,” he explained, and an extremely tall man stepped from the hallways.

He was older than Euterpe, with blond hair and grey eyes. A handsome man by any standard, but something about him unsettled her greatly. 

“Good morning,” he greeted. “Pardon my intrusion, but I thought we had something to discuss this morning, Cheslyn.”

The earl looked askance.

“Yes, we did. My apologies, Your Grace. You should not have heard all that.”

“Cheslyn, you and I have been friends for many years now. I understand this is a difficult time, so I would like to help you.”

“And how might you do that?”

The duke looked at Euterpe in such a way that it gave her chills.

“I could marry your daughter. If we hasten the union, then it can be done with before anyone knows your other daughter is not here.”

Euterpe stifled a laugh. She hardly knew this man, and her parents knew far better than to thrust her into the arms of some stranger that she did not like.

“It is done,” her father replied. 

Euterpe felt her breath leave her body. Done? 

“But, Papa—”

“No, Euterpe. His Grace is a perfectly fine suitor, a man we can trust. Not only that, but it will save us from the scandal that will certainly follow all of this. If not, at least it will mean you are already married, and your chances are not wounded.” 

“But if I am married to a man that I do not …”

Her voice trailed off. She could not say she didn’t like the duke when he was standing right there. 

“The wedding shall take place within the week.” Her father nodded as if she hadn’t said a word. “I shall set about acquiring a special licence for it.” 

“Wonderful.” The Duke of Somerset smiled. “I await it.” 

Not wanting to hear anything more, Euterpe excused herself and left the room. She couldn’t bear it anymore, not when it was so out of character for her parents. She left for her room, hoping to hide away there until the matter had been put to rest, but knowing that such a thing could not be possible.

“Are you alright, Miss?” came a voice when she reached her door. 

She turned to see Emma, her lady’s maid. She was but six-and-ten years of age and a very pretty young lady with blonde hair and hazel eyes. Euterpe wanted to do what she had often done and tell her that all was well and she merely had a light headache, but she could not. She pulled Emma into her room, and everything spilled out of her. The words burned the back of her throat as she said them as if they were poison.

“And so,” she finished, “if I stay here, I shall be forced to marry him. I cannot. I will not.”

“That is awful, Miss. I do not know what to say.”

Suddenly, an idea came to her.

“Emma, you have always been loyal to me.”

“Of course. It is what I am here for, after all.”

“Then you will follow where I lead?”

“Certainly.”

Her loyalty truly was unwavering.

“Good. Meet me here at midnight. I know what the two of us must do.”

Chapter Two

Edward Balfour, the Duke of Cambridge, had always thought that his niece was a joy to be around, but that appeared not to be the case for all.

 Isabella, Ella as he called her, was but seven years old, and anyone could expect and understand that her behaviour could be considered difficult at times. After all, she had only lost her mother and father a year prior. Thus, he hadn’t questioned it when she hacked at her long brown hair and made it frighteningly short or when she spent most of her time with her blue eyes narrowed at anyone who so much as looked in her direction.

Her governess had reacted with shock and horror as if she had caused herself any real harm, but Edward had only seen the humour in it. After all, her hair would regrow, and nobody would ever know what she had done. It was only an act of expression and rebellion, not like she had done it to someone else.

He was positive that his own blue eyes had looked the same when he had lost his own parents and that his rebellious streak had simply never settled in because he had been older when it had happened. Despite it all, he loved Ella and would have taken her in no matter the circumstance. It was, after all, his duty. 

But it was not, it appeared, as rewarding for others as it had been for him. Ella had had five governesses over the last year, each one trying to help guide her and each one being chased away. She had hated them all, only ever wanted her mama. It pained him every time that he had to remind her that her mother, his sister, would not be coming back, and it only made her resent the next governess more.

She did, however, enjoy the company of his closest friend, Theodore Swanson. He was a kind-looking man, his brown hair and hazel eyes and six-foot-tall stature leading to him looking like a sort of big plush bear, and he was the only person other than Edward and their staff (besides the governesses, of course) that she dared speak to kindly. 

That day, Theodore had come to see him, and at once, she was hanging on his every word.

“Have you been to the park today?” she asked, and he ruffled her chin-length hair.

“Not as yet, no. I have been occupied.”

“Might we go soon? All three of us?”

“I believe you need this hair of yours to grow a little more first.”

She pulled on it, the waves straightening to her shoulders.

“See? It is already very long. I was considering making it short again.”

“You shall do no such thing.” Edward laughed nervously.

It had taken months for it to look relatively normal, and in that time, she had not been outside the garden. Edward did not care what she looked like, but he did not dare have any comments made about her.

 She accompanied the two gentlemen until they entered the study, where the little girl was not allowed during their discussions. It was not the done thing for her to be allowed inside at all, but Edward turned a blind eye to that. If she wished to sit inside his dark blue study with his dark wooden furniture, that was her choice. 

They sat at Edward’s desk, listening to Ella skip away. She was likely going to her own room to play or the gardens to make herself dirty. It could have gone either way, and Edward did not mind which she chose. After all, he would not force his staff to clean the grass stains from her dress; instead, he would simply buy her another. In any case, she had been wearing one of her favourite ones that day and likely knew better than to ruin it.

“She certainly seems more attached than is usual,” Theodore noted.

“That would be because she believes me to be angry with her.”

“Well, are you?”

“No, not at this point. I do not know, however, what to do now. I have tried everything. She has chased away yet another governess that I found for her.”

“And what was the little miss’ crime this time?”

“She replaced the lady’s sugar with salt and then found a spider in the garden and placed it on the governess’ shoulder.”

He saw the smile on his friend’s face, even though he tried to conceal it. It was no laughing matter, even if Edward had to admit that he imagined it being quite amusing. 

“Well, what do you plan to do now?”

“I have put a mention in the daily news column about it, and I have interviews prepared for today, including each one meeting Ella. She may make the final decision, and then I hope it will be easier for her.”

“Do you mind if I stay here during all this?” Theodore asked. “I am aware that it is not the done thing, but my mother has begun her talk of marriage again, and I am not interested in hearing about it today.”

Edward laughed. Theodore was nine-and-twenty, a year older than himself, and though it was expected of both of them to find a wife, neither of them ever had. Theodore simply did not care to marry, and Edward … Well, he had his hands full with Ella. 

“That is perfectly fine. I shall require a drink after all this, I am certain of it, and so it would be my preference that you are with me regardless.”

The first lady arrived an hour later, a tall one with short black hair and little brown eyes. Her name was Rose, and Ella almost seemed fearful of her at first, and for a fleeting moment, Edward thought that might be good; she would be less likely to play her horrid tricks on her if she were afraid. 

She had experience and showed willing, but as time passed, Edward saw just how uncomfortable his niece was. She did not like her, but that did not mean they would not grow to like one another. He considered her.

The following candidate was not at all noteworthy, having no experience and only coming because she read about the position in the news column and thought working for a duke would be good. She had no interest in children, which made her an impossibly bad choice. 

There were then a third and fourth that were very similar to one another. Both had some experience, but never with children like Ella. The only discernible difference was that the second one mentioned never wanting to call her Ella, only ever her given name. Ella nodded at this approvingly, for she had never allowed her governesses to call her that. 

By the time all the ladies had been seen, Ella seemed quite askance. She looked up at Edward as if waiting for another lady.

“Is that all?” she asked.

“It is, yes. You may go and play now. Thank you for helping me.”

“But … I do not like any of them. Can Rose come back?”

“You did not like Rose.”

She was swinging her feet, looking at the ground.

“No, but she was nice enough to me. I knew her, and I do not know these ladies. I do not want them.”

“I will see what can be done, Ella. Now, you run along and play for a while.”

She nodded, sliding off her chair and leaving the room. He sighed, not knowing what he could possibly do to make her happy. He hoped Theodore would be able to give him some form of enlightenment, but sitting together, he found that his friend was just as clueless as him.

“She passed me on my way in,” Theodore explained. “She is the very picture of misery.”

“She hated them; I could see it. I am simply grateful that she spoke to them respectfully, given how she has treated the others.”

“In all honesty, I had thought the first one she ever had was lying. Caroline, was it? I could not picture Ella being anything other than a sweet little girl.”

“Nor could I, but there is something about the governesses that makes her angry, furious even. I do not know what to do. At this point, I am at a complete loss.”

“Then perhaps I may help you?”

Edward looked at his friend incredulously. For a start, Theodore did not know of any ladies. He had never been interested in them, but perhaps he knew more than he was letting on. 

“How much help can you give me?”

“For a start, I attend events and leave my house. That is a far better start than hiding away all day doing business.”

“You know perfectly well why I do that. I have been doing this for ten years now, and I work best alone, tending to my estate, doing my duty, and taking care of my niece. It is what must be done, and it hardly leaves any time for enjoyment. Besides, I feel content enough with Ella, and so I have no need to find entertainment elsewhere.”

“If you insist. Regardless, you have tried to do this your way, and it has been fruitless. Perhaps my way might be better?”

Edward considered his friend’s words carefully. For all intents and purposes, Theodore’s logic was sound. He had not found the right governess, and he needed one urgently if he wanted to be a good uncle. Ella needed a mother figure, and that was a role that he simply could not fill. Strictly speaking, he needed all the help he could get, and if Theodore was offering just that, then he could hardly refuse.

“Very well,” he sighed. “Do what you think is best. You know Ella well enough to know whether or not she will like whomever you find, so if you should find the perfect lady, then you may bring her to me.”

Theodore nodded, and the pair left the confines of the deep blue study walls. They walked in the gardens for a while, Ella finding and following them. Neither gentleman minded and Edward was grateful that his friend understood why she behaved the way she did. 

When Theodore left that evening, and Edward and Ella were at dinner, he noticed that she was simply pushing her food around her plate and not actually eating any of it.

“Is something wrong?” he asked. “It is your favourite, chicken and potatoes.”

“Dinner is perfectly lovely, but I am not hungry.”

If nothing else, at least she said how she was feeling with ease.

“Why ever are you afraid?”

“Because you are going to have one of those horrid ladies come, and then they will take me away from you and pretend to be my mama. They are not my mama!”

He could see how upset she was about it all, the hand holding her fork trembling. Had that been the issue all along? He had not been made aware of any previous governesses trying to impersonate his late sister, but it had clearly been what Ella had felt. 

“It shall be different this time,” he assured her. “I know you did not particularly like any of the ladies today, so I have entrusted Mister Swanson with the task. He is determined not to let you down.”

At last, she brightened. She so loved Theodore that the mere mention of him always helped. It was more than that, however, for she trusted him too. She hardly ever trusted others, for they could leave her just as easily as her parents had, even if it was not their own fault.

That night, when he took her to her room, she dove onto her pretty pink bed and insisted on a story. After all that had happened that day, he could hardly refuse, so he pulled a book from the shelf and began reading it to her. It was a tale of a princess that had been locked away and then rescued by a brave knight, which had always been her favourite. 

“I want to read tomorrow’s story,” she said, already growing weary.

“If you insist. You are certainly becoming good at it.”

“You are a good teacher,” she yawned. “If anything, you could be my governess.”

He winced, for he hated saying things that would hurt her. 

“I wish that I could, but you know that I–”

“I know, you must do your dukely duties. I understand, Edward. Hopefully, Mister Swanson finds the perfect lady for me.”

“I am positive that he will. For now, you only need to sleep, and then we will see who he finds. This time, I hope that you might be a little kinder?”

“Hm,” she considered. “I will try.”

That was all he could ask of her. He knew her behaviour was unacceptable, but what more could he do? The poor girl had been punished enough without him making it any worse. He read to her until she fell asleep, and then he left the room, thinking as he wandered the corridor that taking care of this one little girl was far more difficult than being the Duke of Cambridge, and it was not even close. 

But Theodore had made him a promise, and he had always been a man of his word. He would find someone, Edward reasoned, and Ella would like her, and the governess wouldn’t overstep, and all would be well. 

And if him keeping the governess at arm’s length and giving her strict instruction to keep it that way would help, then he would do exactly that.