Lost and Desired in His Arms – Extended Epilogue

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Five years later

Luke loped over the wide, brown plains, seeing the puff of frigid air he expelled with every outward breath. It was cold in Scotland at this time of year and it was only going to get colder. Already, he could see snow upon the distant mountains.
He kept walking, relishing the scenery. It had been a long time since the family had been here; it would be over twelve months, at least. They usually tried to travel north just after Christmas tide was over. They would spend a month or more ensconced at Dundee Manor, just south of Aberdeen, riding, fishing and hiking. It was remote and there was little else to do when the weather set in.

He grinned, watching the lake just below. He had set off for a short walk, having left Percy fishing. The lad had been reluctant to break his winning streak. He had already hauled two salmon out of the lake within half an hour of setting his line. Even though Percy was only four, he looked and acted much older than his age. Still, he had made sure the lad was always within his sight. He didn’t want him getting overexcited and toppling into the water.

Percy turned, seeing him. He waved excitedly, holding up a fish. “Look, Papa! I caught another!”
Luke smiled, waving back. “Well done.”

He quickly walked back to the boy, admiring his catch. Percy’s face was red from the cold – two bright spots on his cheeks. Luke ruffled the boy’s chestnut brown hair, noting for the hundredth time, that it was exactly the same shade as his own. But the shining brown eyes that peered out of Percy’s face came from his mother.

“We should head back to the Manor,” he told his son. “Mama will get worried if we are out too long.”

The boy looked disappointed. “Can we come again tomorrow?”

“Of course,” said Luke, smiling. “We can come every day as long as the weather holds.” He squinted up at the sky. “There will be snow soon, Percy. And then the lake shall freeze over…”
“And we can go ice skating,” grinned Percy, his eyes wide with excitement.

“Perhaps,” laughed Luke. “If we are still here. But we might be back in London, or Suffolk.”
The boy pouted. “I wish we could stay here forever. London is boring and there is no salmon fishing in Suffolk.” He suddenly brightened. “But then, we could go to France, like we always do!”

Luke laughed harder, taking the boy’s hand. They picked up the fishing lines, carrying the catch in a basket, heading back towards the house. Percy chattered excitedly the whole way.

Luke scanned the horizon. There were dark clouds passing over. And then, he tensed, seeing the house on the other side of the hill. It was very far away, appearing like a black speck, but he knew who it belonged to and it always made him anxious.

We have never run into them, he reminded himself. It is unlikely that we ever will. We keep to ourselves, in this neck of the woods.

But it didn’t stop the uneasiness he always felt when he saw that house. It always felt like a harbinger of doom; as if it might suddenly open up, rather like Pandora’s box, spilling out its occupants. Two people who he fervently never wished to see again in his life.

He gazed down upon his son’s hair, his heart twisting. He had everything he had ever wanted in life, more happiness than a man deserved. A beautiful, loving wife and two wonderful children. And yet, sometimes, it was as if it was yesterday, and he was back to that time, fighting for the love of the woman he had always wanted. Fighting for her against those two people who threatened to take that woman away from him forever.

***

Camelia was standing by the fire in the parlour when they entered, throwing on another log. The fire hissed and sparked. From the corner of the room, there emerged the sound of Mozart. The opening, haunting notes of the Moonlight Sonata.

He smiled slowly, watching the girl playing, his heart swelling with pride. It was Evie, a solemn seven year old, her brown ringlets swinging as her hands moved over the keys. Their daughter was a talented pianist. So talented, in fact, that her music tutor had declared that she could exhibit on the concert stage.

Percy ran towards the fire, throwing his arms around his mother. Camelia laughed, taking his face between her hands.

“You are so cold,” she admonished. “You feel like ice.”

Percy ignored her. “I caught three salmon today, Mama! Three!”

“Well, you are quite accomplished, are you not?” smiled Camelia. “I hope you brought them to the kitchen so Cook can make us salmon pie for dinner.”

Percy beamed at her, nodding, puffed with his own importance. “I did.”

Suddenly, he was distracted by his set of toy soldiers, in the other corner of the room. He raced off and was soon absorbed within a game.

Luke walked slowly to his wife, putting an arm around her waist. She smiled up at him. “You are cold too, husband. I think your daily forays walking and fishing will be curtailed soon. I sense snow in the air.”

Luke smiled. “So do I. But I am determined to get Percy out of the house for excursions as much as I can, before the bad weather sets in. He grows so restless with boredom when he is confined indoors.” He glanced over at their daughter, her face tight with concentration, as she played. “Unlike our Miss Evie, who would stay at that pianoforte all day, if we let her.”

Camelia laughed. “That is true. Evie would hardly eat if we did not remind her. Her dedication is simply astonishing.” She stared at Luke fondly. “I am so very proud of her. She has inherited your musical talent. Remember when you told me in France you dreamt of being a composer when a child?”

He laughed, squeezing her tighter. “I thought you had forgotten all about that. The wishful thinking of a child.” He paused, gazing into her eyes. “I do not yearn for it anymore. I have all I want in this life here in this room.”

The air thickened between them. He took a deep breath, his heart turning over in his chest. She was still his only love, who had dragged him to that church at night in Montpellier, insisting they renew their vows. She had never changed. She had only grown more beautiful and sweeter with the passing years.

“But Evie shall have to forgo the pianoforte tomorrow,” said Camelia, breaking the tension between them, with a smile. “There is a fair one, in the local village. I thought we could take the children for an outing. What do you say?”

Luke hesitated. Once again, the shadow of that black house in the distance loomed over him. But Camelia was aware of it as much as he was and wasn’t afraid to circulate in this district. And the chances of running into either of them were slim, at any rate.

“I say it sounds marvellous,” he replied slowly. “As long as we are not stuck watching a Punch and Judy show for hours, that is. You know what Percy is like.”

They both laughed. Luke forced the uneasiness away. His wife was determined not to live in the past, and neither would he.

***

Camelia watched the excitement in her son’s face, holding his hand, as she led him into the village fair. Luke was just behind her, escorting Evie. Their daughter had grumbled a bit at being dragged away from her beloved pianoforte, but now she was as excited as Percy.

She gazed around, feeling excitement sweep over her as well. She had always loved a fair. This was a medium sized one, the stalls crowding the market square. Jugglers walked through the crowd, tossing brightly coloured balls into the air. There were snake charmers and gypsies telling fortunes and apple bobbing in barrels.

“Papa!” cried Evie, pulling at Luke’s arm. “Can we go and see the acrobats first?”

“No,” declared Percy stoutly, scowling at his sister. “I want to see the puppet show first!” He gazed up at his mother, his bottom lip wobbling. “Please, Mama?”

Camelia and Luke stared at each other, trying to suppress their smiles. Camelia knew what they were going to do, even without speaking. Sometimes she hardly needed to use words with her husband at all anymore. It was as if they could read each other’s minds.

“I shall take Evie to the acrobats,” declared Luke quickly. “And Mama shall take you to the puppet show, Percy. Do we have a deal?”

Both children nodded vigorously. Camelia was just about to turn in the direction of the puppet show, when Luke reached over, taking her arm.

“Be careful,” he said, frowning slightly. “We shall wait at the acrobats for you. Join us there as soon as the puppet show is over.”

Camelia nodded, smothering her surprise, at the fierce look upon her husband’s face. “Of course. Have fun.”

She took Percy’s hand firmly, weaving through the crowd, until they got to the puppet show. Her son broke away, sitting down with the other children, in front of the booth. Camelia hung back, watching him fondly. Percy was a tearaway, but he was also the most loving boy in the world, brimming with mischievous energy.

As the puppet show began, she idly gazed around the fair, thinking of Luke and his fierce words to her just now. She had sensed his uneasiness, as soon as they had arrived in Scotland. But it was always that way when they came here, and she was well aware of the reason.

It was because of the house on the hill. The house that they both knew belonged to Marcus and Rebecca.

She had heard from her mother that they had moved north three years ago, but hadn’t realised how close their house was to Luke’s manor. When she had worked it out, he hadn’t been pleased, telling her that they would sell the manor and buy another somewhere else. But she had managed to dissuade him. What were the chances they would ever run into them? They were only resident in Scotland once a year and then rarely left the manor. And the manor had been in his family for generations.

But the uneasiness had remained. She saw Luke tense, the minute they were here. A wariness of expression which always remained. She simply did not speak of it anymore with him. What was the use? She ardently wished to leave the past behind. And she knew that her husband did, as well.

The sketchy reports she received from her mother told a tale of a doomed marriage. Despite their northern move, things had not improved between her sister and her husband. The latest rumour was that Marcus had deserted Rebecca entirely and was openly living with another woman.

Something that had initially given Camelia a stab of vindictive pleasure, but then left her feeling somewhat sad.

What a mess they had both made of their lives. And all because they had been such nasty, selfish people.

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. It was as if a cold breeze had swept over her and yet there was none. Camelia shivered, wrapping her velvet cloak tighter around her, gazing around with trepidation.

And that was when she saw the face, staring at her through the crowd.

She gasped, frozen to the spot. It was as if she was transported back through time. It was Rebecca standing there. She was carrying a woven basket and wore a drab, threadbare grey cloak.

Camelia’s heart lurched. Instinctively, her eyes turned to Percy. But her son was still enjoying the puppet show, laughing uproariously. He was oblivious to the presence of his wicked aunt, standing just metres away from him. He didn’t even know she existed. Neither of their children did.

Her eyes swivelled back to Rebecca, her heart twisting. She looked so much older than her years. Camelia knew she was still only in her late twenties. She had once been a beautiful woman, flushed with youth. But now, there were dark circles under her eyes, and her chin sagged slightly. The brown eyes that had always been flashing with brilliance were dull.

She looked like a woman whose constant companion was suffering.

Camelia’s heart lurched again. Her sister’s life was shocking, and that was only the things she knew about. Her husband didn’t love her and never had. Marcus had always been a cad and had continued to be unfaithful; Camelia knew he would be unfaithful to any woman he was with. It was just in his nature. The years had brought wisdom, in that regard.

And Rebecca had never had children, to ease her unhappy marriage. Children might at least have brought comfort to her, given her something else to live for. But judging by the face of the broken woman in front of her, there was no comfort for Rebecca, and probably never would be.

Camelia took a deep, ragged breath. She should be rejoicing, to see her sister brought so low. She should be dancing on her ashes. And yet, she could not feel it. All she could feel was sorrow and pain that her sister’s life had come to this. A life she had created through her own wickedness.
Rebecca gazed at her a moment longer. She smiled sadly. Wistfully. And then, she turned away, vanishing into the crowd, as if she had never even been there.

Camelia took another deep breath. She was gone. And she suddenly knew, deep in her heart, that was the last time she would ever gaze upon her sister’s face in this life.

She also knew that she had finally forgiven her.

Her eyes filled with tears. Rebecca had lost everything. There was no comfort for her in this life. It was punishment enough. And Camelia was finally, blessedly free from the burden of it, once and for all. She could almost feel it.

Her sister was a broken woman. She would not come after her again, snatch her children away in the night, break into her house.

She did not need to live in fear anymore. And neither did Luke.

The puppet show ended. Percy came up to her, his eyes gleaming with joy.

“Can we get a toffee apple on the way to see the acrobats?” he asked.

She laughed, taking his hand. “Why not? I feel like one, too. Maybe we might buy one for your father and Evie. They might be hungry by now, watching all those tricks.”

***

That night, after the children were finally asleep, Camelia sat at her dressing table, brushing her hair meditatively. It had been a good day, but tiring. The children had been overexcited by the fair and hard to settle. She was looking forward to curling up in bed with a good book.

The door opened and Luke entered the room. He was already dressed in his nightshirt. He yawned, padding over to her, kissing the top of her head.

“You smell like toffee,” he whispered.

She laughed, gazing up at him. “I did not eat that much! How cheeky you are!”

They looked into each other’s eyes. The air thickened between them. Suddenly, she wasn’t thinking about that book at all, when they climbed into bed.

She hesitated for a moment. Should she tell him about seeing Rebecca that day?

She bit her lip. How could she explain to him, that it was finally over? That she had gazed upon the face of a broken woman who didn’t look capable of hurting anyone ever again? He hadn’t seen Rebecca. He would still believe she was the same woman she had always been. The fear and uneasiness would remain, regardless of what she said.

She took a deep breath. No, she would not speak of it. As much as she could help it, she would never speak of her sister again. She knew in her heart she had forgiven her and that was all that mattered.

She could face God with that knowledge.

She reached up, twining a hand in his hair, pulling his head down so that his lips reached her own. They kissed lingeringly. It was gentle and tender, until the spark suddenly burst into flames, just like it always did. A tremor broke through her body; that familiar yearning, to join her flesh with his own.

They didn’t need to say a word. She got up, leading him by the hand towards the bed. He blew out the candle. And then they turned to each other, seeking blindly, their hands speaking in a way that words never could.

As his lips found hers again, and she felt herself slowly sinking into the pit of desire, she knew that it had come full circle.

The fear of Rebecca was banished. Her life was one of joy and fulfilment. She had a loving husband and two wonderful children who she lived for. Her family were everything. Her whole world.

And nothing could ever drive a wedge between them. They were as solid as rock. They always had been, and they always would be. It would take a greater force than spite and vengeance to split them apart.

She sighed, against his lips. The night was dark. And she was in her husband’s arms, and he was making love to her. All was as it should be. All was well in the world.

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